How to use the word "Fuck"
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hatred.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary!). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck, she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".
Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
Dismay: Oh! Fuck it.
Aggression: Fuck You.
Passive: Fuck Me.
Command: Go fuck Yourself.
Incompetence: He's a fuckup.
Laziness: He's a fuckoff.
Ignorance: He's a fucking jerk.
Trouble: I guess I'm fucked now.
Confusion: What the fuck...
Despair: Fucked again.
Philosophical: Who gives a fuck?
Denial: I didn't fucking do it.
Rebellion: Fuck the world.
Annoyance: Don't fuck with me.
Encouragement: Keep on fucking.
Etiquette: Pass the fucking salt.
Fraud: I get fucked by my insurance agent.
Difficulty: I don't understand this fucking business!
Ugliness: You are a dumb looking fuck.
Agreement: You are fucking oh right.
Benevolence: Don't do me any fucking favors.
Greetings: How the fuck are ya?
Resignation: Oh, fuck it!
Disgust: Fuck me.
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
Lost: Where the fuck are we?
Disbelief: UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!
Retaliation: Up your fucking ass!
Apathy: Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?
Suspicion: Who the fuck are you?
Directions: Fuck off.
Pleasure: I fucking couldn't be happier.
Perplexity: I know fuck all about it.
Panic: Let's get the fuck out of here.
It can be used in an anatomical description: "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time: "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business: "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal: "Motherfucker."
It can be political: "Fuck Dan Quayle!"
Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:
General Custer: Where the fuck did all those Indians come from?
Mayor of Nagasaki: What the FUCK was that?
Captain of the Titanic: Full speed ahead and Fuck the icebergs!
Captain of the space shuttle, Challenger: Put that fucking fag out!
Anne Boleyn: What's a fuck?
Julius Caesar: Fuck tu, Brute!
Casanova: Boy, am I fucked!
Joan of Arc: Fuck me, it's hot!
Captain of the Marie Celeste: Where the fuck is everyone?
Captain of The Herald of Free Enterprise: Fuck off, I'm fishing!
Director of Chernobyl nuclear reactor plant: OH FUCK!!!
Emperor Nero: Where's all that fucking smoke coming from?
Mayor of London, 1665: Oooh, fuck, a rat!
Baker, London, 1666: Fuck, I left the gas on...
Scott of The Antarctic: Fuck, is it COLD!
Managing Director, Union Carbide plant, India: What is that fucking smell?
John Lennon: That's not a real fucking gun.
J.F.K.: I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.
Other famous qoutes:
Richard Nixon: Who's gonna fucking find out?
Albert Einstein: Any fucking idiot could understand that.
Picasso: It does so fucking look like her!
Pythagoras: How the fuck did you work that out?
Michaelangelo: You want what on the fucking ceiling?
Walt Disney: Fuck a duck.
Edmund Hilary: Why?- Because its fucking there!
Joan of Arc: I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?
Noah: Scattered fuckin
. . .
Who is Jack Schitt ?
. . . the Lineage Revealed
Many people are at loss for response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can handle this question.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of KneeDeep & Schitt Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt.
Against his parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe later married a Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and, consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them . . .
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